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Get a Head Start on Your Health Goals Now 

As the year draws to a close, it’s easy to fall into the mindset of saving positive changes for January. New Year’s resolutions often feel like the perfect opportunity for a fresh start, but waiting for that flip of the calendar can create unnecessary pressure.

But Why wait?

Small, intentional changes now can lead to a more vibrant, energised holiday season—and set you up for a stronger start in 2024.

Giving up alcohol completely or significantly doesn’t happen overnight. It is a gradual process involving small cognitive, physiological and emotional shifts that slowly take hold. It involves a multitude of perspective shifts, new practices, curiosity, perseverance, trial and error, ups and down and self-love. There is a bit of work involved. Again, it doesn’t happen over night.

A new year’s goal to take an alcohol break with the arrival of 1 January is ambitious. It puts a lot of pressure on yourself to overhaul your life overnight that more often than not can set you up to fail.

Drinking less is about small steps and consistent effort. That’s why I am all about advocating making mindful adjustments now. You’ll start to feel the benefits quickly which will keep you motivated.

Many of us subconsciously justify drinking “more” over the festive season, promising ourselves we’ll turn things around in the New Year. If only it were that easy. If you’ve ever started a health kick on January 1st, or after a holiday, you know how difficult it can be to sustain those changes. Without preparation, time, and support, old habits tend to resurface quickly.

Here are a few simple ways to begin:

• Choose events to “practice” being alcohol-free at now. These might be events that you don’t really want to go to or can leave early at, or ones where you know others will also be alcohol-free or alcohol-minimal. Start practicing!
• Cut back at social events by drinking mindfully. Importantly, cease accidental or random drinking where possible. Reduce the number of alcoholic drinks and switch to alcohol-free alternatives where possible.
• Notice the difference: Pay attention to how much better you feel the next morning after an alcohol-free evening.
• Change up your social habits: Plan activity-based catch-ups, like morning walks or coffee meetups, rather than drink-focused gatherings.
• Set your non-negotiables, being those rules that you never want to break again when it comes to alcohol. Here are some ideas: no drinking at home full stop, no drinking at home alone, no pre-loading, no post-loading, no drinking more than once a week or once a month and no more than 3 drinks on any one occasion (bearing in mind that you should have no more than 10 servings per week in accordance with the health guidelines).

These small steps can snowball into lasting habits that help you enter the New Year with momentum rather than fatigue.

By making small, intentional wellness choices today, you’re laying the foundation for a healthier, happier New Year. You’ll enter 2025 with confidence and energy, having already made strides towards the changes you want to see.

Want extra support with the backing of a like minded community to propel you along?

Join my November Alcohol Freedom Challenge and start building momentum before the festive season!

This challenge includes exclusive live speaking sessions with leading experts in wellness, habit change, and the sober space:

🌟 Dr Gina Cleo, The Habit Revolution
🌟 Lisa Greenberg, Motivational Speaker
🌟 Cindy Johnson, Emotional Freedom Technique Therapist
🌟 Simonette Vaja, Psychologist and Meditation Coach
🌟 Natalie E West, Nutritional Psychotherapist

This is your chance to:🌿 Identify your drinking triggers
🌿 Learn how to handle urges and cravings
🌿 Develop healthier social coping strategies—all while staying alcohol-free

**Spaces are limited** to ensure a close-knit, supportive environment. So if you’ve been thinking about making a positive change, this is your moment!

What’s Included:
✨ Daily video content in our private Facebook group
✨ Challenge E-book with daily reflections
✨ 7 group meetings on Sundays at 6pm (Sydney time) for sharing and support
✨ Weekly guest speakers on Wednesdays at 6pm (Sydney time)
✨ Private Facebook community for daily motivation
✨ Weekly meditation practices
✨ Fun weekly mocktail recipes!
✨ A personal challenge project
✨ 24/7 access to my Alcohol Freedom Library for support when you need it most

Discounts:
🌿 Previous challenge members get 50% OFF with code GRAD
🌿 Newsletter subscribers get 15% OFF with code 15OFF

Let’s finish 2024 strong, empowered, and alcohol-minimal! 💪 Click the link to sign up and end 2024 with a bounce in your step!

Did you know that your attachment style can explain why you drink the way you do?

I used to roll my eyes when counsellors asked “that question”: “What is your relationship with your parents like?”. Now I cut right to the chase in my private practice and spend quite a bit of time here with my clients.

Attachment theory describes the way you bond and connect with others particularly your most intimate relationships. This in turn dictates how you have learned to cope with stress. As connection is often said to be the anecdote to addiction and you often drink to manage stress, learning about your attachment style can reveal so much about your stress response patterns and why you use alcohol to cope with life.

Attachment Styles

 Broad descriptions of the four attachments styles are set out below. Please be mindful that most people have a combination of tendencies from each of these styles so you might have a mixed style.

As a general statement these styles flow from generation to generation. So, when considering your own attachment style consider how your parents connected with you and responded to your needs growing up.

Secure Attachment style

Low avoidance and low anxiety tendencies. Comfortably independent and autonomous. Relaxed with intimacy and not vigilant about with abandonment or rejection. Can reach out and seek help from others when needed and can also be a reliable source of support for others as well. Trusting, empathetic, forgiving, and tolerant of differences. Open communication style while being able to pick up on nonverbal context clues. Looking back your parents are/were sensitive, warm, and in-tune with your emotions and needs.

Avoidant attachment style

High avoidance and low anxiety tendencies. Often indifferent, dismissive and uncomfortable with intimacy. Seems emotionally reserved and distant and seeks out freedom and independence rather than togetherness or closeness. Remote and aloof communication style that tend to be less feelings-based and more focussed on logic, rationalising. Stoic, self-sufficient and avoids conflict. Conflict will be held off until it cannot be held in and can erupt with uncontainable anger. Looking back, your parents were often emotionally unavailable, avoidant and often disengaged from your signals that you needed comfort (they may have had an avoidant attachment style too).

Anxious attachment style

Low avoidance and high anxiety tendencies. Preoccupied with the desire to be close to and connect with friends or with an intimate partner but the process is incredibly anxious-provoking and stimulates feelings of insecurity. Presents as “needy” and hyper-vigilant about rejection and abandonment. Holds grudges, takes things personally and is very sensitive to a partner’s mood or actions. Highly emotional and combative. Lacks personal boundaries and can have people-pleasing tendencies. Communication style is deflective and has a hard time accepting blame. Looking back, your parents were inconsistent with the attention they gave you causing you to feel anxiously attached and uncertain of what mood and behaviour your parents would be in from day to day.

Disorganised attachment style

High avoidance and high anxiety tendencies. Uncomfortable with closeness and intimacy.  Cautious and untrusting of others in a relationship. Unresolved emotions make you frightened by past experiences and traumas that have not been emotionally resolved. Difficulty with emotional intimacy. Can be argumentative and often abusive to partners or loved ones. Antisocial tendencies and can be aggressive and unremorseful. Often from depression. Looking back, your parents may have emotionally or physically mistreated you as a child, withholding attention and love.  This in turn resulted in you having a disorganised attachment to others and potentially being susceptible to becoming the victim of abusers.

Which style do you believe reflects your predominant attachment style?

Please note that healthy and secure attachment styles are not as common as you think so please do not feel ashamed or disheartened to discover that you have not developed this style.  Instead, it is opportunity to go easy on yourself and view your coping mechanisms from a new compassionate perspective and grow from there.

Wat does is mean when it comes to your drinking behaviour?

A person with healthy secure attachments develop healthy characteristic such as empathy, resilience, adaptability and the ability to trust others making them better equipped to manage stress, to verbally and non-verbally communicate with others and maintain healthy boundaries.

Those with avoidant, anxious, or disorganised attachment styles have not had the opportunity to develop these healthy characteristics and struggle to maintain healthy boundaries and interpersonal relationships. As a result, they endure a lot of frustration, pain and stress attempting to connect with and be accepted by others.

Importantly, those with secure attachments tend to more easily manage the stresses of life whereas those with insecure attachments are less likely to cope well and more likely to use alcohol to deal with emotional stress, develop alcohol use disorders, eating disorders and mental health issues.

In summary, both anxious and avoidant attachment styles find establishing and maintaining intimate relationships and friendships challenging. They can find themselves lonely and reactive in stressful situations, turning to alcohol for relief. Alcohol can fill the void created by a lack of meaningful connection.

If you have an alcohol use disorder it can be really helpful to reflect on your upbringing and identify your present attachment style (or styles) to examine if your use of alcohol is explained by an insecure attachment style and a consequential lack of ability to cope with stress generally or emotional distress arising from loneliness or dysfunctional relationships.

Possessing this awareness can provide great relief because it provides space for understanding and compassion for your behavioural and emotional responses and why you might be (sometimes unknowingly) self-medicating with alcohol.

Moreover, this is the starting point for transforming an unhealthy attachment style into a healthy secure style.  The good news is that your style is malleable and can be changed with some focus and cognitive work.

Going forward

If you would like some help to drink less consider:

1. booking in a confidential no obligation discovery call with me to discuss how I can support you, or
2. join the Alcohol Revolution Program, an online self-guided course.

Isabella Ferguson