From Addiction to Endurance: Nikki Langman’s Journey to Authenticity and Sobriety

Meet Nikki Langman—international speaker, author, thought leader, and endurance runner. Nikki, once a career alcoholic, started her journey with addiction quite early, at the tender age of seven. She was introduced to the world of drinking, and it quickly spiraled into a manipulative and deceitful relationship with alcohol. Join us as she bares it all, revealing the struggles of confronting the person in the mirror, and the bravery it took to get honest with herself. Nikki’s journey is a testament to self-improvement and authentic living.

But there’s more to Nikki than just sobriety. She’s a long-distance runner, a love she discovered as a method to regulate her high energy levels and find joy in extreme physical activities. Nikki redefines what it means to be a badass, embracing bravery, authenticity, a sense of direction, and self-love. She candidly discusses her support system and the positive changes she made to support her sobriety. Get ready to be moved by Nikki’s incredible journey from addiction to endurance running, from self-deceit to authenticity, and from surviving to thriving.

Coach Tony Richardson of Sober Tides on giving up booze twice

After 9 years of being alcohol free Tony started drinking again and, like many, found myself exactly where he had left off: binge drinking, hangovers and full of shame.​ Second-time around, Tony discovered that willpower or “white knuckling” alone was not the answer. He discovered This Naked Mind and has been alcohol free since. Tony is now a This Naked Mind Certified Coach and helps others quit drinking. He is interested in men’s health and encourages ex-serviceman like him to reach out to him at Sober Tides and get help to kick the booze.

Alex McRobert, Sober Yoga Girl!

Namaste to Alex McRobert creator of the Sober Yoga Girl Podcast and founder of the Mindful Life Practice based in Bali (but accessible online all around the world)!  Alex has fit a lot into her relatively young life so far. She is a Canadian who’s lived in Kuwait, Abu Dhabi and Bali over the last eight years, was married, divorced and suffered a mental health breakdown all by the age of 25. She now calls Bali home and has created a life full of yoga, health and wellness that she now shares with others. Alex talks about what led her to quit drinking, how her yoga practice complements her sober practice, how yoga is much more than movement, stretching and poses and the importance that spirituality plays in her life. We also discuss Alex’s beautiful retreats. Take a listen to this episode if you would like to learn how incorporating yoga into your routine could bolster your sobriety goals and how you might go about doing so, even if you are a beginner who might be considering starting yoga in mid-life. Alex radiates health and happiness and will certainly inspire the best of us to at least want to give it a try!

Sophie Scott on human potential, mental health and mindset

We are honoured to have Sophie Scott, award-winning broadcaster, international speaker and author, on our latest episode of She’s Sober Sydney!Sophie shares why she decided to stop drinking and provides insights on anxiety, burnout and the vagus nerve, with an overarching goal to equip people with evidence-based tools needed to become the architects of their own wellbeing. Get ready to be inspired!

You can listen to this episode on your favourite podcast platform.

Sophie’s website:
Sophie’s Insta handle:
Sophie on you tube:

Alice Hansen, From Rehab to Wild Wellness

Alice’s drinking got out of control growing up in Tasmania, drinking to numb complicated feelings associated with being gay in an environment in which it was still illegal to be gay at the time and so she kept her identity hidden from everyone around her.  After bravely going to rehab more than 20 times desperate to find a way out of the destructive drinking cycle she was in, Alice was finally able to stop drinking after reading Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, doing several of Annie’s alcohol programs and pursing the transformational effects of cold-water exposure and Wim Hoff’s breathing techniques. It stuck. Alice then decided to support others struggling with alcohol and stress to access this method too. She founded Wild Wellness in Tasmania which offers a range of transformational retreats designed to help people escape, heal and reset in the magnificent wilderness of Tasmania via ocean plunges, practitioner-led fireside sessions, journaling and guided breathwork. Alice’s story is inspirational and empowering. She tells her story with openness and honesty together with plenty of belly laughs along the way.

Michelle McDonald is Sober, Connected and More Than Enough!

Today we are joined by Michelle McDonald, sobriety coach and burgeoning podcaster, about her transformation from a daily drinker to an alcohol-free woman. Michelle describes how she never really felt like she “was enough”. She consequently filled her life with a busy schedule of things to do, was loud, sociable and drank a lot to “complete” herself. She believes all this noise and “doing” including hitting the gym early and hard, was a trade-off to justify the drinking. Michelle’s drinking escalated to the point that she sometimes started the day with a drink of vodka on a bad day.  However she turned it around. Michelle found sobriety after completing a 90-day alcohol challenge and within a fortnight of doing so, she noticed life opportunities started opening up for her. She likens it to a domino effect whereby her life organically and naturally began falling into place. From there Michelle has gone from strength to strength. Gone is the noise that so often accompanies drinking. She now relishes sitting peacefully and calmly and describes her life now as full of clarity and purpose. She even feels younger (love this!). Look no further if you are after sober inspiration. So many women will relate to this story!

Danielle Fleming on the hospitality industry, motherhood and more!

Danielle Fleming on the hospitality industry, motherhood and more!

Join us for an exciting and insightful episode as we delve into the world of the hospitality industry with fellow coach Danielle. Discover how she conquered the intense pressure to drink in this industry and turned her passion into a thriving career. Hear firsthand about Danielle’s personal journey from heavy drinking to living a fulfilling life without alcohol.
Danielle speaks about 3 female forces in her life led her to stop drinking and how being sober has meant a different life for her daughter who will never know her Mother as a drinker.
Danielle now has a course for Leaders in the Hospitality industry. You will find link to Danielle’s info below.

Anna Cusack on Alcohol and the Stresses and Joy of Motherhood

Anna Cusack on Alcohol and the Stresses and Joy of Motherhood

In today’s episode we talk to Anna Cusack.  Anna is a Postpartum Doula, Parent Supporter, Certified Motherhood Studies Practitioner, Author, Podcaster and a mum who supports and mentors women in pregnancy, post-birth and early parenthood. Anna has also been alcohol free for 4 years. We start by talking about Anna’s decision to go alcohol free and then we have a lively chat about the pressures woman face during motherhood, how hard it can be when choosing between your career and motherhood, the allure and risks of mummy wine culture and how alcohol can become a crutch to get through the stresses of raising our little ones, often masking our need to connect and seek extra support. Be sure to catch this episode. There will be so much you can relate to.  Apart from thinking “oh I wish I knew Anna when I was having my babies…” (like we did!), you might also look back on your parenting struggles with a little more self-compassion (like we did!) or if you are in the midst of it right now you might feel a little more understood (also us!) and keep Anna’s number handy nearby just in case you or a friend need it.

Sober Sex! Let’s talk about it…

Sober Sex*

Let’s talk about it. Why?! Because it comes up a lot. Discreetly and tentatively at first but it presents as a major issue often when alcohol is removed from your life. Also, if drinking has been part of your whole sexual history then you may not even know if you enjoy sex at all! So… sober sex.

Why is this important? Because it is about connection and we know how important quality connection is to an alcohol-free life. It’s the opposite to addiction.

Moreover, quality connection and intimacy with our partner, the person that we are most close with in the world and the person we spend most of our time with is likely to be high on your priority list. There are exceptions to this but if this is the case for you then read on.

Uncomfortable feelings created through lack of connection and issues with intimacy can feel stressful and can create urges to reach for alcohol. So best to address this head on.

Does any of this ring true for you?

  • Have you only ever had sex while under the influence?
  • You and your partner met and bonded over drinking. Drinking was part of the courtship, drinking and sex was a regularly thing, or
  • You are freaking out about sober sex, like freaking out!

Geez – I was…

The quick facts

In short, alcohol may lower your inhibitions, but it decreases your ability to become and stay aroused.

Drinking reduces testosterone in both men and women. For women, low testosterone can mean hair loss, weight gain, broken sleep, depression and anxiety and on top of all of that it decreases your libido! Alcohol messes with that part of your nervous system that is essential for orgasm and arousal. So, you may have difficulties reaching orgasm.

For men, alcohol can lead to difficulties maintaining an erection or erectile dysfunction.  In fact, a study resulted in rats testicles decreasing in size by 50% when they were fed a steady diet of ethanol. Alcohol causes dehydration which increases a hormone, angiotensin, that is associated with erectile dysfunction.  It also decreases blood volume and interferes with circulation, both of which can contribute to performance issues. Men may also experience decreased sperm production, breast enlargement and lowered libido.

Why do drinking and sex go hand-in-hand?

Usually because we’ve always done it. Awkward tense sexual exchanges with partners and one-night-stands may always have been associated with alcohol for you.  Images of women drinking and then having wild, sexy and crazy sex were everywhere for me growing up. They are so destructive and disingenuous.

If you drank a lot when you were young then you might have been someone who lacked confidence, experienced social anxiety, was a little nervous.  Alcohol numbed that. You likely developed deeply ingrained beliefs that you need alcohol to have sex or you need alcohol to be good at sex. These beliefs can really impact your self-confidence and connection to your own body.

Alcohol allows you to abandon yourself emotionally and mentally and when it comes to sex, alcohol facilitates you abandoning yourself physically too. This sounds quite frightening doesn’t it?

You may never have learned how to get comfortable with being sexually intimate or just intimate generally with another person without alcohol being present. This is ok as it’s never too late to learn, but if alcohol was frequently present in intimate moments ever since you became sexually active then abandoning yourself may have become the norm. So, you never developed these skills.

No wonder you feel alarmed at the prospect of sober sex!

You already feel raw, vulnerable, and naked venturing into the world fully sober and now you need to consider the prospect of being physically naked too!

Sober sex is way better than drunk sex

You get to experience it all, physiologically, emotionally and mentally.  This can feel a lot to deal with at first, but over time, it is way better.  Your brain, nervous system, senses, circulation are all alert and unimpeded.

I never really remembered sex the next day. Perhaps it was more a performance rather than a real experience. It was never really a genuine connection. It was an experience that was just one of those things.

However, without the alcohol and the numbing, you are literally more in touch with your body. It’s worth it – promise.

Hot saucy tips 

If you are in the early days of sober sex and it is all just too daunting, then go easy on yourself.  Cut yourself some slack and postpone the moment until you are ready.  You may very well be feeling fatigued, emotional and stressed as it is trying to navigate life without alcohol. Adding sex to the mix may be too much for your right now. This is normal and understandable.

As you remove alcohol, you may be uncovering connection and communication issues in your relationship that may have related to you drinking as you did in the first place.  So it may be complicated. Sort these issues out first. You need to feel comfortable.

Also, when you are taking a break from alcohol, it is not just about alcohol. It is about landing back into our bodies and feeling comfortable in our skins again. A rebirthing of sorts. So you may be re-learning how to connect with your partner and yourself again on a sober basis. Go slow.

This may very well require doing some reframing work (alone or with a counsellor) on beliefs that you may hold able around sex, like “I believe I need alcohol to have sex” or “I believe I need alcohol to be good at sex” or “I need alcohol before I reveal my body to my partner“. There are many that I could list here. These beliefs can really impact your self-confidence and connection to your own body. Cognitive reframing work can really help here to untangle the historical stories, experiences and assumptions that you have developed over the course of your life that have lead to you feeling hesitant or scared about sex.

Engaging in any movement (think exercise, dancing, swimming, yoga) does wonders for connecting you back with your body, as does breathing exercises and meditation.

Wait until you are relaxed, feeling happy and connected with your partner and have faith that your body will remember the moves!

Finally, acknowledge this to yourself for what it is. If it works for you and you feel safe doing so communicate your nerves with your partner.

It’s a new experience, potentially a sober first and it is going to be uncomfortable initially but you’ll get your old groove back.

If there are any long-term issues, then consider reaching out for one-on-one counselling to discuss these matters further.

*Note: If you have a history of sexual trauma and your alcohol use is connected with this (which is common) then you may need additional one-on-one support from a trauma-trained specialist to talk through your concerns

Going forward

If you would like some help to drink less consider:

  1. booking in a confidential no obligation discovery call with me to discuss how I can support you, or
  2. join the Alcohol Revolution Program, an online self-guided course.

Isabella xo

Episode 9, Merry Christmas!

In this episode, in addition to a few belly laughs, we offer some tips to attempt to get through Christmas as unscathed as possible! From frocks, mocks and hammocks to embracing the imperfections of Christmas, from picking and choosing your own Christmas adventures to jumping off those social media accounts that do not serve you doing this period, choose what Christmas can offer you and not what you can offer Christmas (and that may be asking for some light relief like a family member getting caught in the Christmas tree… again…!).  Join us for a giggle.  Oh and merry Christmas everyone! Big hugs from Meg & Bella x